Beatboxtaun

Gone, But Never Forgotten

As the cool morning awoke me from my sleep, I rolled over in my bed, not ready to get up just yet. I snuggled in my blankets to get just a few more minutes of comfort, when I was greeted by a happy and familiar face. No, it wasn’t Zion, although my three-year old loves affection and cuddling in the morning. No, it wasn’t my husband, as he had already gone to work. It was Kingston, our Bull Terrier. His happy face was staring at me, as though he was smiling.

Kingston knows his duty, as the family pet, to be our protector. He knows he is to be loyal and obedient to his master. He also knows his job is to provide comfort and happiness to the family that raises him. However, Kingston was not thinking about all those things, this morning. He was thinking about how badly he needed to relieve himself, as he sat beside my bed waiting for me to rise.

I rolled out of bed to take him outside and stayed out there with him for a bit as he pranced around the yard. I watched him play and thought about what a wonderful companion he is. His beautiful white fur, with a few brown spots, always made for great black and white pictures for our hallway and around the house.

As I watched him, I remembered an old friend. I would rather call him a family member, since he was much more than a friend. He was not white, nor did he look anything like Kingston. Gonzo was part German Shepherd and part Akita. He wore a coat of different shades of brown, black and white, which were uniquely placed and made him beautiful. I remember how frustrated I’d get, finding strands of those colors on the couch, when he was shedding.

As I sat outside, the crisp breeze brushed my cheek and made my hair dance. It reminded me that it had been two years since our lives last included Gonzo. He was with the family for about 11 years and we were very fortunate to have him share that time with us. All three of our children had playtime with him, although our youngest didn’t have much of that. He had to be put to sleep last fall, which was one of the hardest decisions our family has ever had to make. When we took him to the veterinarian for a suspicious growth, she advised us that he is too old to operate on and we might want to consider putting him to sleep so that he does not go through anymore pain. That same cool breeze brushed my cheek and danced with my hair, as we walked him back to our car.

Our family decided to take a week to think about it and we soon came to the realization that we were being selfish in trying to keep him around. We couldn’t help but think, if he could talk, what would he tell us? “It’s alright; I’m not in that much pain. I can handle it. Don’t let me go, just yet.” Just how intense was his pain? “I will be alright, let me go. I love you and I know how much you all love me.” That last week, he had a stroke and could not walk properly anymore. He would stay laying on his big baby blue pillow, with brown stripes, which kept him comfortable on the tiled floor. When he did get up, he would limp on his left side. One side of his face would droop, which made it hard for him to eat and drink. It also caused him to drool. We realized that this was his way of telling us to let him go.

As time passed, we still miss him. While our family would be out walking, Zion would hear a dog barking and say, with his little hand clutching mine, “That’s not Gonzo. Gonzo’s in heaven.” Our oldest boy, Benji, would tell us how much he missed playing ball with Gonzo. Tito, the middle son, was crying in bed one night. When I heard him, I walked in the room and asked what was wrong. As I held him, he expressed how he missed Gonzo, too. I held him tight and consoled him, as he sobbed in my arms. My heart still saddens as I pass his pictures in the hallway. Then, I remember how happy he made us and I smile.

While I watch Kingston play outside, I feel a strong connection with him. We all love him very much and he is our newest member of the family. He is a tremendous dog, with a lot of love to give. Kingston makes us very happy with his playful personality and his willingness to learn new tricks. He greets us when we walk into the front door, showing us just how much we were missed. To show his affection and appreciation for all we do for him, he will place his head in our laps and get cozy for a nap.

Although we have a new pet, Gonzo will never be replaced. He will always be missed. Pictures in the hallway are not needed to remind us how much we love him. Our hearts will always remind us of that affection. Though he is now gone from our lives, he is never forgotten.